The actress appeared on Angie Martinez's iHeartRadio podcast, 'Angie Martinez IRL.'
Lauren London is opening up about her relationship with the morbid concept of death, and how her relationship with the late Nipsey Hussle changed that.
During an appearance on the iHeartRadio podcast Angie Martinez IRL, the 37-year-old noted that she understands the urge that others have to approach her cautiously during her grieving journey, saying that she appreciates it when people are sensitive with her because she has moments of vulnerability. But that sentiment can have a dark side.
"I really am grateful for it when it's genuine, but I don't like it when it's pity," she stated. "I feel when it's like, 'Oh I couldn't imagine going through that.' No one ever wants to feel like their situation is the worst thing anyone can imagine because then it makes you reel isolated in your human experience. You kind of want to feel like it's OK, and that other people could be going through something too. The pity makes me feel pitiful."
"We don't have death etiquette. Humans do not know how to [handle death]. It's the most foreign [concept] to us but the most common," she said. "I just don't think that we know how to die or accept death and then we don't know how to usher people in that transition either."
London lost Hussle, whose real name was Ermias Asghedom, when he was shot and killed outside of his Marathon clothing store in Los Angeles and died on March 31, 2019. He was 33. London has publicly and emotionally honored Hussle on multiple occasions since his death and has worked hard to keep his memory and light alive.
The actress reflected on Hussle's funeral, noting that people's fear of dying is never fully recognized until it's in their face. "I always say the front row at the funeral is different," she mused, recalling how it took a pep talk from Sean "Diddy" Combs before she could speak to the audience at the late rapper's memorial.
"Somebody pulled me aside," she said. "Puff, Puff pulled me aside and was like, 'Look, Boog, you have showed everybody what it looks like to hold a man down and to love him. Now show them what it looks like when it all crumbles. That’s your responsibility.'”
She added of the funeral, "I just felt like it was surreal. I can honestly say God was carrying me through that 'cause I didn’t even want to get dressed. I was going to wear sweats."
London, who is mom to 11-year-old son Kameron with her ex, Lil Wayne, and 5-year-old Kross with Hussle, shared that it wasn't until she became a parent and lost the love of her life that she truly realized how precious the gift of life is.
"Growing up I didn't have such an attachment to Earth," she shared, admitting that she regularly told Hussle that she expected to die before him. "But then I had my first son and I was like, 'OK, I'll stick around a little longer.'"
She acknowledged that her morbid fascination with death could be traced back to past traumas and that having fulfilling life experiences made her happier in life. And after Hussle's death, she went through a long period of depression before beginning her "rebirth."
"There was a time I couldn't take a shower, when I didn't even laugh," she revealed, reflecting on being proud of her progress since Hussle's death. "I was really in a dark space and I am someone where I don't just feel it, I go in it. I'm just proud that I'm not where I was three years ago."
Listen to the full interview below.
On July 6, Eric Holder Jr., the man accused of fatally shooting Nipsey Hussle in March 2019, was found guilty of first-degree murder in the trial that finally started and ended after a years-long delay due to the pandemic.
The verdict was announced in a Los Angeles courtroom. Holder had initially pleaded not guilty and had been held behind bars in lieu of $6.5 million bail. The jury deliberated for less than an hour on the second day of deliberations. The trial lasted three weeks.
Holder had also been charged with two counts of attempted murder charges because two innocent bystanders were also wounded as a result of the shooting, but Holder instead was found guilty of two counts of attempted voluntary manslaughter. He was also found guilty of possession of a firearm by a felon.
Hussle was shot 10 times in the incident, with one round severing his spinal cord and three rounds puncturing his lungs. L.A. Deputy District Attorney John McKinney stated that "even if he survived, Nipsey would have been paraplegic."
Holder faces life in prison. His sentencing hearing is set for a later date.