How Michelle and Jesse Lally's Marriage Woes Played Out on 'The Valley' Before Separation News

The couple announced their separation ahead of the premiere of the 'Vanderpump Rules' spinoff.

Jesse Lally and Michelle Lally's marriage woes are playing out on The Valley

The reality stars announced their separation ahead of the Vanderpump Rules spinoff's premiere, and now that episodes are airing, fans are getting a look at what led to the breakdown of their relationship.

When ET's Brice Sander spoke to the duo at the show's premiere, they opened up about their relationship struggles.

"There's a lot that happens," Michelle acknowledged of the first season's goings on. "We've been together for a long time and married, but you get to see our real struggles. You're gonna see that we have separated."

In a separate interview, Jesse noted, "The storyline of us working on our marriage is a big part of not only our personal life, but also part of the show."

"Unfortunately, right now Michelle and I are separated, but we're co-parenting, focused on Isabella," he added of their daughter. "Michelle moved out recently, so we're living just a few blocks away. You'll see it unfold throughout the entire season this year."

While Michelle noted that she "was scared at first" to air her relationship drama on TV, she ultimately realized that "it's good to have people realize that they're not the only ones that go through real struggles."

"I want to show that not everything is glamorous and perfect," she said. "I want to show people that marriage is difficult and, you know, some people survive it and some people unfortunately don't."

As for if they'll get back together, Jesse said, "My only concern is Isabella. I hope that we will be best friends raising this beautiful girl. At the end of the day, that's literally all I care about is the baby."

Keep reading to see an episode-by-episode breakdown of the Lallys' marriage woes.

"Welcome to the Valley"

While the premiere episode didn't feature a lot of drama with the couple, Jesse did tell Jax Taylor that Michelle had brought up the idea of separating. Their troubles were further noted when Michelle asked Jesse to check on Isabella and he refused.

"Tit for Tat"

During the second episode of the season, Jesse and Michelle's parenting differences were on full display when they decided to teach their daughter how to ride a bike.

Jesse refused to watch a video Michelle sent him on the topic, prompting Michelle to admit in a confessional, "I didn't know before having a child he didn't have any patience."

In his own confessional, Jesse mused of his wife, "I don't know if she's changed what she wants from me or if I've changed into somebody she doesn't want."

The whole thing, Michelle told the cameras, was one example of the challenges married couples face.

"Nobody tells you how hard it is to sustain a happy marriage while trying to raise a baby and keeping that love and spark alive," she said. "It's a very scary thought that we might not ever get back to the way things were." 

Later, Michelle told Nia Booko and Kristen Doute that she wants to go to therapy with Jesse to work on their problems.

"Doubting Doute"

The third episode of The Valley featured Jesse and Michelle speaking to a life coach.

"Our marriage counselor is not a therapist, he's more of a coach," Jesse said in a confessional. "His goal is to make us the best versions of ourselves, and if the best versions of ourselves are in love with each other then our marriage will survive, get better... We're going to get into the depths of our relationship and how to move forward."

In the session, Jesse complained of "constant conflict" in their relationship. Meanwhile, Michelle said that "a lot of needs are not being met," adding that she feels lonely and frustrated. She added that her husband is "very hard" on her and said that she feels "nothing is ever enough" for him.

"We're living more brother and sister as opposed to husband and wife," Michelle said, before admitting that "it's been a while" since she's been attracted Jesse.

"What is sex again?" Jesse questioned in a confessional. "Oh yeah, I watched Pornhub the other day."

The session ended with the life coach encouraging Jesse to be warm and kind to Michelle, who broke down in tears over the situation.

"Capri Chaos"

While the episode started off on a good note for the couple – they laughed together in a way they hadn't "in years," according to Michelle – problems were still present.  

Jesse discussed those marital woes with Jax and Danny Booko when they took their kids to the fair, admitting of his relationship, "Right now, it's bad."  

"He's like, 'Don't touch her. Don't make comments about her a**,'" Jesse said of his and Michelle's relationship counselor. "Because she said she was uncomfortable when I said how hot she was. We're so far past the compliment thing that she feels like when I say it, they're fake."    

That's a long way from how things used to be, as Jesse reminisced, "Michelle used to show up to my house wearing a trench coat and I used to tie her up and pour hot wax down her back."  

In contrast, he said, "Now I can't even get a candle lit in my own house without, 'That doesn't smell right.'" 

"The 'D' Word"

Michelle and Jesse's marriage woes made up a large portion of the episode, as the former told her pals that it had been "one of my hardest years." Meanwhile, Jesse told the guys that therapy was "a disaster," before shocking them by revealing that Michelle nearly moved out one year ago.

"I was a little blindsided by it," he told the cameras. "I didn't see it coming at all. But after talking about it for a couple hours and me sort of asking for a second chance and asking what she wanted me to focus on, we decided to give it a second chance."

Lately, though, Michelle told Brittany Cartwright that she'd been "re-feeling" the way she felt a year prior, full of "resentment" for being largely left alone to take care of their daughter.

"I do think the constant fighting and bickering and not smiling, I think it's unhealthy for our daughter," Michelle said in a confessional. "So sometimes I think it would be better off that she would see two happy, good friends, as opposed to us together unhappy."

Also contributing to the couple's problems was the fact that Michelle had been hanging out with an unnamed A-list director. While Jesse told his friends it didn't bother him, he admitted that he wouldn't stay in the marriage if Michelle were to cheat.

"If she does something, it's on her," he said. "And then I get to tell Isabella for the next 40 years that her mom f**ked everything up."

At the end of the episode, the couple sat down for a tough conversation, in which Jesse tearfully expressed his want to make their relationship work, and Michelle told her husband, "I'm going to try, but I can't promise anything."

"Congrats on Your Hair Loss"

In a confessional, Michelle admitted that she and Jesse had "just been going through the motions and just focusing on Isabella." It's Isabella, Michelle said, that made her want to figure out where she and Jesse stand.

"I realize that it would be better to raise Isabella where she could see two loving people love each other instead of two people always fighting," she said. "I don't want her to grow up to think that's normal and that's OK."

Meanwhile, Jesse considered doing psychedelics, before having an eye-opening chat with his marriage coach, during which he "realized my marriage might be over."

That realization put Jesse in a bad mood for a dinner party, which he ended up walking out of. When Kristen threatened to expose secrets she knew about Michelle and Jesse's marriage, the latter exploded, "If you bring out any skeletons that I don't already know about my wife, I will f**king bury you."

Jesse wound up pushing and shoving his castmates during the explosive fight, during which he exclaimed, "If you get involved in my family, I will bury you."

When Kristen claimed that she'd heard Jesse was planning to divorce Michelle in two months, Jesse denied as much and told her boyfriend, "You better get her in check."

The episode ended with Kristen claiming that Michelle had had a boyfriend for a year, telling the cameras, "About a year ago, Michelle and Jesse were very unhappy. Michelle had a guy. She was seeing him. They were hanging out. I was not against any of this, because I think Jesse's a piece of s**t."

"The #1 Gossip of the Group"

The episode began with Jesse discussing the sanctity of marriage, as he told the cameras, "My parents are together. Both sets of grandparents passed away together. The old days, you made a commitment to somebody, and you stuck with it. That's my mentality. I love my family, and I'll do whatever it takes to keep the family together. I'm a fighter. We made a commitment to each other. That's a big deal for me."

Even so, Jesse was wondering if Michelle felt the same way.

"She used to yell at me when we first started dating if I put my cell phone face down, and then all of the sudden she starts putting her cell phone face down," Jesse said in a confessional. "For years, she wouldn't go out and have a margarita without doing a boomerang. And then all of a sudden no more posting. Her thing was, 'Sometimes I just like to take a break from social media. Bulls**t."

Michelle attempted to allay Jesse's fears, telling him, "That shouldn't be in your head... I've been honest with you."

"The Invite Fight"

Jesse tried to turn things around by taking drastic action and going to a plant-based medicine retreat.

"The idea of doing something like this is so against my personality," he said, "but I'll try anything to make myself the person that Michelle wants to be with."

As for what Michelle was hoping Jesse would get out of the retreat, she told her husband, "I hope you can change a little bit, change your personality."

"Part of me thinks it's bulls**t," she told the cameras. "I don't know how one night can change a person drastically."

"The Big Bear Bombshell"

During a trip to Big Bear, things went further downhill when Jax told Michelle that Kristen was spreading rumors about her texting another guy.

"I did tell her I met this celebrity and I was texting with him and I had coffee with him one morning," Michelle admitted, before addressing Kristen's claim that she'd sent sexy pics to men. "She is right. I have texted multiple people," she said.

"Babymoon Mayhem"

The following week picked up right where the former one left off, with Michelle telling Jax, "Jesse's very well aware. He knows everything. I'm the kind of person where, let's say if I meet a celebrity, I get really excited, because I see them as a possibility that they could be a client or stuff like that. So I am always calling, texting, emailing, meeting for coffee."

Michelle did deny, however, that she sent sexy photos to another man. Then, later in the episode, Michelle told Jesse about Kristen's allegations.

"I don't give a s**t who she talks to," Jesse said. "I'm not a jealous person. Let's just move on."

Jesse got emotional, however, during a deep conversation with his male friends, during which he admitted that he wanted another baby and Michelle did not.

"I'm trying so hard. I think we're done, me and Michelle," he told his friends, before adding in a tearful confessional, "I don't want my marriage to be over, but can you imagine being 43 years old, single, raising a daughter? It's a lot to take in. Isabella's all I care about. Imagine not having her parents together."

"Darkside Danny"

Still in Big Bear, Michelle admitted to Brittany that she's not attracted to Jesse anymore, before reflecting on the possibility of divorce.

"I feel like it's me that has to make the decision, it's not a mutual decision," she said. "I don't want to be the bad person. I never thought I would get to a place like this."

Though things remained strained between the couple, they ended up having sex the following morning. That didn't, however, mean that their situation was improving.

"We had sex this morning and she acted like I wasn't even there," Jesse told the cameras. "She had her eyes closed. I can't put my finger on it, but I can feel the energy is completely different."

To Michelle, Jesse added, "I just started thinking, how foolish would we look after putting all this time and money into our marriage and talking with Scott and then it comes out, 'Oh, here's a picture of Michelle in lingerie that she sent someone.'"

Michelle continued to deny that she'd sent photos to another man.

"Opening Bars, Closing Chapters"

In the show's season 1 finale, Jesse questioned if Michelle would "abandon" their marriage given her family values. She insisted she wasn't doing that, but Jesse expressed his disbelief in a confessional.

"Every time I take three steps forward she takes six steps backwards, and it feels like f**king s**t," he told the cameras, as Michelle admitted to him, "I want to be in love with you the way I used to be, but I don't know if I can."

The show then flash forwards six months to March 2024, when news of Jesse and Michelle's separation became public.

"Michelle told me three days after we wrapped the cameras that our relationship was over," Jesse told the cameras. "It made me feel like a f**king idiot. It made me feel like I was blind and blindsided."

From Michelle's perspective, she explained in a confessional, "I finally hit that point where I'm done and I want to move on and I want to get divorced and start my new life. There's no question whether or not I made the right choice."

Their split wasn't just in the romantic sense; they separated their business relationship and agreed to shared custody of their daughter and dog.

"Right now, we are in a s**tstorm kaleidoscope of divorce," Jesse said. "... It's hard because I just keep thinking about Isabella. Isabella didn't choose this, so we have to remember that all we have left is to make sure she lives in the best way and the best life that she can."

"To be the one who makes the decision to get divorced is incredibly hard, because one day I'm going to have to tell my daughter that I left her dad," Michelle added in her own confessional. "At the end of the day, I'm doing what's best for her, but I always thought that my child would be raised by two parents who are together. Ultimately, the dream was not reality."

Despite giving up on that dream, Michelle said that making the decision left her feeling "relieved" and "happy." Since the show wrapped, both Jesse and Michelle have entered into new relationships, the former with Lacy Nicole and the latter with Aaron Nosler.

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