ET exclusively sits down with Candiace Dillard Bassett at the Baha Mar resort, where she kicked off a live-music series at Skybar SLS.
There's something about women who join their Real Housewives cities in the third season: New York's Sonja Morgan, Orange County's Tamra Judge and Atlanta's Phaedra Parks -- they all added a little spark to their respective series. For The Real Housewives of Potomac, that spark (or, maybe powder keg?) was Candiace Dillard Bassett. Now in her fifth season as a full-time 'Wife, Candiace delivers what might be her most-iconic season yet. It's also the most difficult for the star.
"It's been challenging, not in a way that broke my husband and I apart, but challenging in a way that forced us to have to come together in a way we never have before," Candiace reflects with ET, sitting down at the Baha Beach Club at the Baha Mar resort in the Bahamas. Candiace's husband, Chris Bassett, joined her for the trip, a working vacation of sorts. Candiace kicked off the SLS Baha Mar's live-music series at the Skybar on Saturday, Nov. 19.
"Just seeing my husband be bewildered and just astonished by such heinous accusations, all for entertainment, has been really hurtful," she continues, referencing the comments made by her co-stars -- namely Gizelle Bryant, Ashley Darby and Mia Thornton -- about Chris' behavior, much of which has been debunked by flashback footage inserted by the show's editors.
"It challenged me as a wife, to step up and to really be a hammock to catch him when he's questioning himself and questioning his character and questioning how he interacts with my friends on the show," she shares. "You know, 'Maybe I did do something -- or say something -- wrong...' knowing that he’s always been nothing but kind to all of my friends and all of these women on the show."
Candiace says filming season 7 amid the comments about Chris (including that he made Gizelle feel uncomfortable at the season 6 reunion during a brief one-on-one moment backstage, that he slid into Ashley's DMs and that he suggestively stared down Mia) challenged their relationship "150" on a scale of one to 10.
"It's been really hard, but at the end of the day, Chris and I are friends first," she notes. "We support each other 'til the end, and if there was some truth to what was being said, I would absolutely be calling him on it. I would absolutely be holding him accountable. But knowing that this is not his character, it created a lot of tension outside of our house -- and a lot of glue for us inside."
"I don't need to go through Chris' phone, I don’t need to sniff his business -- I don't need to do all these things that Ashley has admitted to us that she's had to do with her now-almost ex-husband," Candiace fires off.
For the entirety of RHOP's run, Ashley's marriage has been under fire, with the cast repeatedly bringing up (or finding out about) new indiscretions made by her estranged husband, Michael Darby -- some, even caught on camera. It's behavior Michael has flat-out denied or excused away over the years.
Candiace name-checked Michael early on this season, in what might be the rawest fourth-wall break in Housewives history. After Gizelle pulled Candiace aside to unload her feelings about Chris making her feel uneasy, Candiace stormed off in search of RHOP's executive producer, Eric Fuller. Once they found one another, a heated Candiace admitted to feeling set up, and told Eric, "If [this season is] going to be about maligning my husband, you don't want me here. I'm not gonna have it. ... It's bulls**t. If you want that, Michael Darby is available for that. The a**-grabbing motherf**ker that likes to actually make people feel uncomfortable, he's available for that. Not my husband."
Candiace then walked away from the conversation, but not before telling Eric she wanted the entire fourth-wall break left in when it aired. She had no clue if it would actually happen.
"We break the fourth wall all the time on our show," Candiace explains. "Karen [Huger] is, like, a fourth-wall break queen. I look into the camera when I’m bored. ... I'll just play with them. No, I was shocked that they left all that in."
"That was fight or flight for me," she recalls. "It wasn't a time to 'stay in character.' This is reality television for a reason; that was my reality in that moment. I had to get out of there because I saw the bad acting. It was like a bad Broadway show that two people bought tickets to, and I couldn't sit there anymore."
Candiace was pleasantly surprised to see the fourth-wall break left in the final episode, because it provides the context she wishes audience members had for more moments on the show.
"There are times when nuance can create a different narrative," she explains. "Sometimes the edit of things can make them look a way that is hurtful and damaging, and we've seen it many times in the past. So, I really appreciate that out production company, that Bravo was was brave enough to allow that moment to happen, and leave it in and make it that we didn’t have to do any extra work."
"That doesn't happen often, and it was really important for me," Candiace continues. "Chris and I are really grateful that that moment is there for people to see."
When the show doesn't tell the full story, at least not in Candiace's eyes, she's quick to jump on social media to share her side of things. Housewives executive producer Andy Cohen once called her a "disaster on Twitter," but that hasn't changed anything for Candiace; and this year, Chris is doing the same.
"I think Twitter's sometimes an Achilles heel for me," she admits. "I think that for Chris, I will speak for him and say that I don't blame him for looking for an outlet to speak. Unlike the women on the show, he doesn't have a permanent platform to speak and to defend himself. As unfortunate as it is that he has to defend himself, I can tell you -- in our household -- it's been very dark, morose, and I supported him in finding a place to just to get his voice out, because for him to have to wait until the reunion to speak on a platform? It's torture. That, as a human-- if someone is maligning you and accusing you of the things that can ruin your careers, ruin your life, you want to speak. You want to be heard, and he took his opportunity to be heard and people weren't happy about it, but he's human. He needed a moment."
As for her tweets this season, Candiace has gone off on Gizelle (though largely avoided invoking her name) and called for a "recast" of the series. Well, at least a recast of Gizelle's spot on the show.
"This subject matter that we're dealing with this season is not to be played with," she says in her own defense. "It's not light. It's not something that will go away easily. It's something that will live with my family for a long time, and I said it there -- I’ll say it here -- this is a platform about our real lives. Our real families. Our real friendships. If you don't have anything real to offer to the show maybe you shouldn't be a part of the show."
She's also said her piece in confessional interviews, delivering the meme-worthy line, "Not today, Satan. Not today, neck. Not today, ankles," in reference to Gizelle's comments about Chris. "I'm gonna get in trouble for body shaming yet again," she laments when asked about the quote.
"I have seen premediated attacks happen on our show, unfortunately, and I have called those out when I've seen them," Candiace notes. "I've spoken out against those things when I see them, and I can't let my brain bleed anymore trying to understand the who, what, when, where, why of the motive behind what was done. It just feels gross. It feels icky, and it feels disingenuous to our show and what our show stands for, which is friendship and family and reality -- not scripted. I have a scripted show. It's called Hush on ALLBLK TV. That's not this, so why are we at a place where we feel like we need to make things up and make things up that really challenge an entire Me Too movement? It sets women back so far, to use a platform like this to lie, or embellish, or create drama where there should be none."
Candiace admits she's not sure where things can go from here between her and Gizelle. She agrees with something Gizelle told ET at BravoCon, that their time filming season 3 of Peacock's The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip together only made matters worse for their relationship, or lack thereof.
"That's a question that I have posed in my head a few times," she says. "I have no idea, and I think it really depends on her at this point. I am where I am: right is right and wrong is wrong, and if she can get to a place where she can own what she has created of her own volition for entertainment purposes then maybe I can get to a place where I respect her again, but as it stands I'm not worried about it. I'm good. We are good. The Bassetts are good."
Similarly, Candiace says the ball is in Ashley's court for the future of their friendship.
"It's not me, it's her," she declares. "I have tried and tried again. I invited her into my home a second time. I gave her a beverage a second time and, you know, she can't get right, and I've decided Ashley -- for whatever reason -- she can't take me. I agitate something in her and it creates this need, this passion, for throwing darts at the Candiace board, and I'm bobbing and weaving in Potomac, OK? That's what I’m doing all day with Ashley."
The caveat here is, Candiace has chosen to throw a dart or two back at Ashley, too. On a group outing to a winery, Candiace claimed to know of a male escort used by Ashley's husband.
"It was not my finest moment," Candiace admits. "I felt like we're in this place again where we breakup as friends, we have out beef, and then we makeup and she looks me in the eye and there's this honest effort from her, I'm thinking, to be friends... and then the moment that you need a moment you are back to lying and trying to malign my husband in a very damaging way, so, as I always say, you bring grenades to the party? I bring rocket-launchers."
Candiace seems the most forgiving toward Mia, who confessed on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen that she never thought Chris' alleged stares were ever sexual.
"I think Mia is a sweet girl, I think she means well," Candiace offers. "With that said, I also think that Mia is still finding her way on this platform and can get caught up in the popularity contest of it all. Maybe she feels as if she she still has something to prove to those she deems 'the leaders,' and I just I want so badly for her to just learn that there is power is marching to the beat of your own drum."
"She gets caught up in the moment and it doesn’t bode well for her," she adds. That rings especially true after the latest episode of RHOP, which documented Mia getting physical with co-star Wendy Osefo. Mia launched the contents of a glass Wendy's way during a bizarre back and forth about Wendy not giving her and Mia's mutual acquaintance, Peter Thomas, a heads up that she would be in Miami on a girls' trip. Candiace missed the mess in Miami, as she arrived to the vacation a day later than the rest of the cast.
"I was on the plane on the way to Miami and I'm getting texts from, like, my manager and my mom like, 'Are you in Miami fighting with Mia?!'" she recalls. "And I was like, 'What?! I'm literally in the air. How am I fighting with Mia?' So, people were thinking that it was me that was fighting and that was throwing stuff and, you know, I've already had my moment in time. I did that. I'm through with all of that, but now it's... Miami was a cluster -- a cluster bleep -- and I'm happy that for once Candiace was not in the mess."
Avoiding the mess seemed to be part of Candiace's grand plan in season 7. She spent the year pursuing passion projects, from earning her MBA to landing scripted TV roles, and maybe most importantly to herself, cementing herself in the music industry. Her debut R&B record, Deep Space, dropped last September to critical acclaim. She's soon to release a deluxe edition of the album with additional material, including her new single, "Insecure," featuring Trina. The rapper pops up on Sunday's episode of RHOP as the two master the track's mix in the studio.
"It's an uphill battle for sure," Candiace says of launching a music career when "reality star" leads one's rèsumè. "When I joined the platform, I knew that I wanted to get here ... but, yeah, it has felt like an extra challenge, because you do have to deal with those naysayers and the people who think that you're 'just a Housewife who wants to do a song,' but for me the key has just been to keep my head down and keep working and eventually, you know, people come around when you don't stop and you just keep hitting them."
"I'm open to the challenge of working and proving everyone wrong -- and proving them right," she adds, pointing out that her performance at Baha Mar officially made her an international artist. As for what's left to accomplish in the music realm, there's a lot. No. 1 on on her wish list is a collaboration with Lil Nas X.
"I want to do more features with my music," she says. "I love Lil Nas X. ... I just, I love his artistry so I'd love to collab with him. That's on my bucket list, and just continuing to surprise myself. That is a big thing for me, to always challenge what I'm doing."
That translates into the personal side of her life, too; this season on RHOP, cameras follow Candiace and Chris as they work on family planning. Candiace opted to freeze her eggs, putting her dreams for a baby on ice (literally) while she pursues her professional endeavors. She says being "good enough" has always been her biggest insecurity (though that's not the direct inspiration behind her new song).
"I want my music to feel like it can apply to different types of people, different walks of life, and it can have dual or multiple meanings," she says. "'Insecure' was originally written about a guy being insecure about me being a fabulous boss, and being out here in the streets and, you know, doing what I'm doing, building my career. But also, when we were writing, it also felt like it was kind of a nod -- or kind of a slight shade-throw -- to some of these girls who might be throwing shade at me and just letting them know, perhaps you should just go talk to yourself about being insecure."
"It's actually the outside world that reminds me daily that I am confident," she says. "It's important to remember, for as much as you see me on this platform and on this show living a version of my life, I am imperfect. I am a human."
"My parents are physicians, I come from a very academically astute family, and when I realized that math and science weren't my friends and I wasn't going to be a doctor, there was this sort of feeling, needing to accomplish enough to make my parents proud and make my family proud of me," she continues, "and even thinking ahead, accomplishing enough to give my children something to reach for, something to show them what they can be and who they can be."
Fans will have to stay tuned to see just how far away those future kids might be; Candiace says the whole fertility journey has been just that: a journey.
"I won't spoil it, but it is a tumultuous journey," she teases. "I'm actually going through it as I'm also dealing with these accusations. ... It created some hardship on the path to egg freezing. It taught me a lot about myself and how resilient I can be."
"I am much more resilient than I thought," she says. "I have more self-control than I thought -- and everyone that you think is your friend, isn't."
The Real Housewives of Potomac airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Bravo.
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